Your wife’s pregnancy

Pregnant women gain up to 15kgs by full term

As the man about the house, be thankful you aren’t obligated to carry around a big bulge in your belly for nine months, at times weighing as much as a third of your body weight. Luckily the pregnancy isn’t half as difficult for us dads.

Getting pregnant is something that happens easily or by accident for some women and with an enormous amount of difficulty and patience for others. Now that you’ve played your part, had plenty of practice and conceived a child, your life is going to change forever. It’s a bit daunting and scary but once you become a father you’ll understand just what a joy fatherhood is, despite all the hard work.

For your partner the work starts long before the arrival, as she increasingly puts on weight, watches her diet, keeps off the booze and cigarettes and starts waddling around like a whale. Be sympathetic to the old girl, she’s got a lot of responsibility and nine months is a long time to wait for the excitement of your new arrival.

First sign of pregnancy, apart from missed menstruation, is morning sickness. For three months the poor mother-to-be is going to have difficulty keeping anything down. Some women luckily experience very little, while others are forever nauseous and running to the bathroom. Now is a good time to show your love and support.

First trimester

Although the bulge won’t begin to show until the third or fourth month, the foetus is very much developing and by the end of the first trimester will weigh about 20 grams and be about 6cms long. You will be able to determine the sex in an ultrasound and even at this size body parts like fingers and toes, amazingly, are fully formed. During this period you will need to visit a doctor and have an ultra-sound to ensure everything is developing correctly.

Your partner will already begin to feel tired and should make an early start at eating correctly and perhaps taking protein suppliments that the clinic might suggest. Most miscarriages occur during this period too. It’s when the pregnancy is at its greatest risk, so your partner should be encouraged to take it easy. It’s perhaps prudent to avoid announcing the news to too many people until you make it through the first trimester, and worth preparing yourself mentally for the disappointment of a miscarriage, especially if the expecting mother is over 35 years of age.

Second trimester

By now the mum-to-be will start to show her pregnancy and will have fun shopping for maternity dresses and browsing the baby shops. The morning sickness will have passed and within a month she will begin to feel mild movements from the baby with firm kicks later on. You can get excited about these by placing your hand on her stomach. She’ll begin to complain of aches and bad complexion, this is all natural and will be minimised by your sensitivity and love.

A second routine visit to the doctor is when ultra-sound checks are conducted to check for possible problems such as downs syndrome. By the end of the second trimester the foetus will be about 33cms long and weigh about 500 grams. Your partner will now be putting on as much as half a kg a week and rapidly outgrowing maternity dresses.

Third trimester

Birth preparation should be well underway at this stage, and by six months into the pregnancy you might find that your sex life needs to be put on hold. It varies with different couples, but in this state your wife might not exactly be turned on or enjoy a good romp, in any case you will have be careful.

Shopping for baby will now be well underway and it’s a good idea to get this out of the way early. It’s fun and exciting but don’t get too carried away as many items aren’t necessary until well after birth by which time you would’ve received some of them as gifts. We’ve given you a shopping list of necessities to help with your budgeting.

Your pregnant partner will need plenty of help and support from you

Late into the pregnancy (Week 30 onwards) your partner may not wish to drive any longer and will need ferrying around. She will be finding movement difficult and will be depending on you for plenty of help. Backache will be a chronic complaint, sleep will be difficult and she’ll find it hard to exercise even mildly (which is none-the-less important).

By now you might be attending birthing classes and learning a lot more about what to expect, and the baby will be kicking like mad, weighing in at up-to 3kgs in the weeks prior to birth. A third trip for an ultra-sound will clearly show the baby in detailed outline and as the weeks leading up to the expected date approach she will be getting anxious and moody, which is when she needs your support and understanding the most.

Now is also the time to start deciding on names, which no doubt you would’ve both been excitedly considering for months. If you’ve decided to keep the baby’s sex a surprise until birth you have the added task of choosing two names. In case you’re still looking for ideas we’ve suggested some popular names and sites with thousands more.

Most importantly, this is the time to start preparing for the birth, packing for the hospital, planning the ‘ambulance duty’ and making appointments at the hospital you have chosen. Be prepared mate, you can expect her labour to arrive at any time after 37 weeks. More on the birth process.

Sorted for the birth
Baby names
The cost of kids