Getting some sleep

Babies often fall asleep with their fathers

Newborn babies sleep for up-to 20 hours a day which is inversely proportionate to the sleep you’re going to get mate. Being a dad isn’t easy, babies are a full time job and you and your partner will need to come up with some sort of shift arrangement to deal with their two hourly attention demands.

Sleep, or the lack of it, is one of the most challenging aspects of being new parents and places a strain on the relationship with the missus. You’ll both be irritable, trying too hard and thinking you each know best when in fact it’s all a learning experience for both of you. Invariably, with all the responsibility and stress, you bound to end up fighting or getting scratchy with one another. Much of this can be avoided by getting decent sleep.

At first, the baby will need attention at least every two hours. As they get older they fall into longer and more regular sleeping patterns but when they’re awake they’ll need amusing otherwise they become insecure and cry. It’s also a good idea to keep them active and engaged when they are awake so that they burn off their energy and sleep deeply. Either way you need to be prepared to severely change your sleeping patterns and get used to short burst of sleep. Sometimes you’ll be struggling to keep your eyes open in the middle of the night while trying to bottle feed the little guy and if you lose concentration he could well end up choking.

The first six weeks

If mummy is breast-feeding baby then luckily you might get off the hook, but once you start introducing bottle feeds you’ll have no excuse. They could sleep soundly for six hours and then remain perky for an hour or two at 4am, demanding attention. Small babies get insecure easily if they can’t hear human activity nearby. For the first six weeks you’ll be feeding on demand and only after this can you gradually try to introduce a routine. By six months old the baby will be sleeping more during the night than day and it starts to get easier. But children are early risers and you’re unlikely to get to sleep in for the next twelve years!

Catch sleep while you can, it will be in short supply

One solution is to escape to the spare room. This might not be a bad idea if you’re the one who has to get up and go to work in the morning. Alternatively you can take your leave from the ‘family’ bedroom when he wakes you in the middle of the night. Once your partner has gone back to work you might have to take it in turns to do the night shift.

Lullabys

Getting the baby to sleep is another important task that makes sleeping easier for all of you. Try gentle rocking them and they’ll nod off in no time, for this a cot that rocks is the answer. Immediately after feeding babies become drowsy and may even nod off while you are gently burping them. If you can pull this off during a night feed you’ll have the rest of the shift off. Other times they appear irritable and nothing stops them crying until, exhausted, they suddenly drop off.

Babies are light sleepers and sudden noises will awaken them, sometimes in tears. Even the softest banging of kitchenware will disturb them and upset a carefully orchestrated sleep. Keep doors closed to avoid banging, turn the TV down (no watching Hollywood blockbusters while they’re asleep in the room) and try to keep the room relatively noise-proof. One way to do this is create ‘grey’ noise from humming air conditioners, tinkering musical toys or soft music.

If all else fails you can even put them in the car and take them for a drive, as the hum and motion almost always works. The main consideration is to be patient and keep working towards a routine. The first couple of months will be tough to adjust to and you might have to snatch sleep here and there, like when you first get home from work. Soon you’ll be over the worst of it and have figured out what works best at getting baby to doze off so you can catch some sleep yourself.

Nappy changes
Feeding
Moods and mother in laws